On Order

Today I helped reorganize a room. It left me with such an incredible feeling of satisfaction and contentment to be a part in bringing order, peace, and calm to a space. I was a little surprised at what I felt, until I remembered that I have always felt that way about organizing. About creating order from chaos and disarray. Even when I bake, I am happiest only after the kitchen is clean and the only evidence of my baking is the delicious end result.

It makes me want to de-junk my house and get rid of all the nonessentials.

And it was fun. I hope M enjoys it.

Pi(e)

Clearly, I would be remiss in my duties as a true nerd if I did not, along with three of my siblings (or siblings-in-law), acknowledge Pi Day on my blog. (I would link to their blogs to demonstrate, but that seems too tricky on an iPhone.)

However, I did not eat pie to celebrate. Instead, I received grapefruit in the mail from my awesome mother. And a neat letter from my niece, which made me smile.

And I ate off a round plate. But doesn't everyone?

All I remember from high school calculus: e to the i Pi = -1.

The end.

Spring!

Be it known unto all people that I am loving this warm open-your-window sunshine weather we are having! It almost makes the fact that I have worked ridiculous hours so far this week worth it. At any rate, it makes me happy.

That is all.

A Partial Answer to A Hard Question

I had a conversation with a colleague on Friday that has been rolling around in my head all weekend. It was one of those conversations that left me thinking, because in it he asked a question and I didn't have an easy answer.

The conversation was about revelation. The question? What happens if I read and understand a scripture one way, and my ecclesiastical leader understands it a different way and counsels me to do the opposite? Who is right?

It's a fair question, and a hard one. I like these kinds of questions, because they give me an opportunity to consider my faith (which is different from my friend's) and why I have not asked that question myself. And now, two days later, I have some initial thoughts - perhaps a part of an answer.

At the foundation of my thoughts are some fundamental assumptions inherent in my faith that ought to be articulated.

First. I belong to a church that is directed by Jesus Christ at its head; indeed, it is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. His doctrines are eternal and unchanging.

Second. As members of Christ's church, we have a prophet who is called of God to lead His people. This prophet will not - and cannot - lead the church away from Christ's doctrine. If he tried, he would be removed from his place. Additionally, local ecclesiastical leaders are called of God, by revelation, and lead the people over whom they have stewardship by revelation.

Third. Just as importantly, each individual is entitled to receive revelation for himself, and through that revelation can confirm all points of doctrine and instruction from his leaders.

Now for my thoughts.

I have never had the experience my friend asked about. I can't even really fathom it. My foundation of truth provides the tools necessary to align any counsel I am given with the principles of the gospel, and I can't think of a time in my life when I have been asked to do something by my leaders that went contrary to those principles.

When my leaders counsel me to do something, I can use the following scripture as a guide:

Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; ... that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God. (Moroni 7:12-13)

If what I am being counseled to do will bring me closer to God and inspire me to do good, then I can be assured it is of God.

A church can be measured in the same way: if it is of God, it will invite you to do good continually. It will model His gospel as outlined in the New Testament. It will teach His doctrines as they are taught in all the holy scriptures. And those teachings will be consistently reemphasized today by prophets, just as in former days. Although The Church of Jesus Christ is administered by men, who are fallible, it is led by Jesus Christ Himself, just as its name articulates. And He who gave His life to redeem us all will not fail us now.

What are your thoughts?

Symphony!

I attended the BSO performance last night with one of my wonderful friends who loves the symphony as much as I do.

They played Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique; and might I add, it was fantastic! The music took me back to days of long ago, when I played that same piece as a member of the Philharmonic orchestra in college. It was like a walk down memory lane as I listened to the familiar but long-forgotten melodies. One of my thoughts was this: what might it be like to be a composer who can turn ideas into music as the great classical composers did? It's really pretty amazing, when you think about it.

Music has a powerful impact in my life. A few different nights this week, as I drove home, the words to a simple children's hymn filled my mind and reminded me of the treasured relationship I have with my God: Lead me, guide me, walk beside me... I am glad to know He walks beside me as I go through the challenging parts - and the happy parts, too! - of my life.

My next goal is to hear the BSO and TFC perform on Easter weekend: Brahm's German Requiem. That should be amazing. Who wants to come?

Meandering Thoughts

My crocuses have begun peeking out of the ground. Which is sort of weird, since it's only February and there is no snow for them to peek through. As I walked up to the house this afternoon, I thought about all the lovely garden work I will need to do soon as the weather warms up.

I realize I haven't posted much lately; I look at my blog to see when it last was updated, and even I am surprised!  It seems to be one of those times where the doing part of life is so intense that the reflecting part doesn't happen as often as it should. Then I try to think about what is going on that would be worth reading, and realize I can barely remember what happened a week ago, much less whether it was noteworthy... sigh.

On to the exciting things.

I have an awesome Spicy Pinto Bean Burrito recipe, courtesy of a former roommate and good friend. It was on my list of things to make all last week, and today I finally succeeded. (The delay was primarily because it took me seven days to get to the store to buy mayonnaise. Seriously. I had all the other ingredients, but wasn't willing to pay $4.79 for a tiny jar of mayo at Russo's last Saturday. Then I was too tired to go to Shaws, then I forgot, then I was busy, etc. etc. etc. I finally realized I could buy it at Target along with the three other things I needed yesterday, thus making it worth the trip - and now I have a year's supply of mayo in my fridge - 8 oz.)

Yesterday I served as a support worker volunteer in the temple. I was assigned to make rolls for part of my shift in the cafeteria. The recipe went something like this: 18 cups water... 3/4 cup yeast... 4 cups oil... 4 cups honey... 1 Tbsp salt... 44 cups flour (and then some, until it looks right). It makes something on the order of 16 dozen rolls, all of which are probably very tasty. I left before they finished, so I didn't get to try them.  It was a fun experience to make bread in mass quantities - I couldn't even lift the bowl off the giant mixer when it was finished! But they smelled heavenly baking in the oven...

My other friend was assigned to make chocolate cake. That was good too.

Apparently the only exciting things in my life right now have to do with food. :-)

On Love

I'm guest posting today on Mormon Perspectives. Stop by and see!

And apologies to those of you who have been waiting anxiously to hear my latest thoughts. It's been kind of busy lately...

What I Learned

The pure love of Christ seeks only the eternal growth and joy of others. - Ezra Taft Benson

I received a new calling today. It is a calling that gives me stewardship over a small group of people and gives me an opportunity to love and serve them to help them know the Master more fully. I am looking forward to the chance to seek inspiration to know how to bless those I have been asked to serve. That service will, as my bishop promised last week, help me solve all the perplexing problems in my life.

But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things. - 2 Nephi 2:24

I am thankful for those who give of their time, abundance, and love in comforting those who stand in need of comfort. You have blessed my life this week. Thank you.

PS - these paragraphs are not actually related to one another in any cohesive way. Please don't spend a lot of time trying to make them connect.  :-)

Lessons from Nephi

Have you ever been asked by God to do something hard?

Nephi was. And this week, I relate to his story in many, many ways.

For context: In 600 BC, Nephi's father was commanded by God to leave Jerusalem and head to the desert, en route to a promised land. They traveled three days, and then He commanded Nephi and his brothers to go back to Jerusalem to get some specific brass plates that contained the scriptures they should have on their journey. After trying (and failing) to accomplish this a few logical ways, Nephi was led by the Lord and obtained the plates in a more unusual way. They finally made it back to their family with the plates. Then, God commanded them to go back to Jerusalem again and convince Ishmael's family to come on their journey, so all the boys could get married and have posterity. So back they went, and back they came.

Now, they're in the desert. They have the scriptures, and Nephi's father has had visions and revelations on a regular basis since they started this adventure, so they should be all set for their journey.  Yet one morning, they wake up and find a miraculous compass, a guide of sorts, that tells them what direction to travel. Why do they need it? They have scriptures. Their leader is quite capable of receiving revelation. Why a round brass ball to point the way to go?

After a few more days of traveling, they stop and rest while the boys go hunting. Alas, they come back empty handed... worse, Nephi breaks his bow, and his brothers' bows have worn out, so they can't hunt in the usual fashion. The situation looks dire, and they begin to wonder whether God led them all into the wilderness just so they could starve to death. Even Lehi, their father/prophet/leader, begins to wonder. Nephi appears to be the only one with any confidence that if God has gotten them this far, then He will not fail them now... and yet, the brass plates won't tell him where to search for food. So he asks his father, who prays to the Lord and is directed to look at the compass. It now contains not just pointers, but words, which are "written and changed from time to time," that give the traveling family understanding in the ways of the Lord. The Liahona, that compass, is a tangible representation of the personal revelation they needed to guide them on their journey. Complete with directions for how to obtain nourishment.  It was more than the scriptures; it was more than visions. It was a visual reminder that God was leading this group - much like the cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night that was enjoyed by the children of Israel during their wilderness journey - and that He knew their destination.

My journey through life also contains a series of promises, much like Nephi's promised land. It also contains wilderness. And lean days, during some of which I wonder how we're going to make it. And while I have the scriptures and the words of living prophets, I don't have a Liahona. (Although in this modern era of technology, an iPhone comes pretty close with the GPS feature and the Gospel Library app.) Instead, I learn from the next of Nephi's experiences.

By the time they arrived on the eastern coast, I'm sure the family was exhausted and fairly sick of traveling, so the bountiful land they encountered brought them much refreshment and joy. Soon after their arrival, though, Nephi again received instruction from God - the Lord spake unto me, saying: Thou shalt construct a ship, after the manner which I shall show thee, that I may carry thy people across these waters. How was a guy from Jerusalem to build a ship large and strong enough to carry his entire family across the ocean? And the Lord did show me from time to time after what manner I should work the timbers of the ship. ... And I, Nephi, did go into the mount oft, and I did pray oft unto the Lord; wherefore the Lord showed unto me great things.

Three points interest me here: first, Nephi had never built a ship - but his first question was not about the ship itself. It was where do I go to obtain the ore to make the tools I will need to build the ship?  Second, he didn't get all the direction at once. It came a little here, and a little there, from time to time as needed. Third, Nephi actively sought help often, and as a consequence, received help often.

My mountain currently stands atop Belmont Hill. It is the place I go to seek instruction, and if I will go often, the Lord will show me great things. He isn't showing me how to build a ship, but I feel I have a similarly challenging task He wants me to do. Some days I think to myself, I don't know how to do that. I don't even know how to start. And then He shows me where to find the resources to obtain the tools. A bit later, I seek Him again, and He shows me how to look to Him in every thought and trust His blueprint. When I think I'm doing such an awesome job at this, He reminds me that it is not me alone who is succeeding - He and I are doing this together. Then He patiently shows me how to do exactly what He's asked me to do, one step at a time, even (especially?) on the days I can't see how today's work will impact the finished product. And in so doing, He makes good on His promise that he will prepare a way for [the children of men] that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

Thus, I can with confidence expect that ultimately I will obtain my promised land, just as Nephi did.

Awesome.

I received a letter from my almost-6 year old niece this week.

It was awesome and it made me smile. I particularly loved this testimony-filled paragraph:

Getting real letters in the mail remains one of my favorite events.

Have a wonderful weekend.

The Best Book Ever

I love The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ.

It is just a wonderful book, chronicling the dealings of God with His children on the American continent over a thousand-year period, and teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ in plainness and simplicity. Today in church we discussed the beautiful vision Lehi had of the tree of life, and after church, as I pondered what I had learned, I grew in understanding of how the vision fits with the entire plan of salvation. We are blessed to be children of a loving Father in Heaven who has specific plans for His children.

This year, one of my goals is to pray each day for the opportunity to bless someone's life, so that I can be a better instrument in the hand of God. I try to pay attention throughout the day, so I can find the opportunity for which I've prayed. Some days, it is obvious what I am to do. Other days, it might be so small, I'm not even sure it will make a difference. But it does make a difference, in both my life and the lives of those I try to help. Here is how I know that:

Yesterday, at the store, the cashier asked me how I was. I gave the standard response (I am well, thanks; how are you?) and she actually answered my question. It was the day after her 21st birthday. She shared how she had celebrated the birthday that began her adult life. That turned into a conversation, since my awesome sister shares her birthday, and she was genuine and kind. It was such a pleasant experience, I left feeling lighter and happier than before. (Not that I wasn't happy before, but I had already been out running errands for hours, and was tired and not wanting to go out again, despite the imminent need to make dinner out of something other than eggs, carrots and potatoes, which was about all I had in the fridge.)

Thank goodness for the Spirit, who teaches me how to act; the examples of others, who demonstrate by their actions that even the small things have power to bless; and the scriptures, which confirm the benefits of righteous living.

Happy Sabbath.

Adventures

This morning I cleaned the church. Not by myself, thankfully, but with a fair number of other dedicated CRW-ers who were willing to respond to the call of duty. It was two hours of fun, and now we have a beautiful, orderly building for worship tomorrow.

After our cleaning adventures, some went to lunch in Harvard Square. I wanted a shower more than lunch, so we declined joining them, and came home to clean up.

The sun was shining and it was warmer than usual (read: low 50s), so my friend and I decided a day outside would be a good way to appreciate it. We ended up in Rockport, MA. It was warm-ish in the sunshine (except right by the ocean) and chilly in the shade, and we walked up and down Rockport center and poked around its quaint little shops. We saw many beautiful handmade trinkets - my favorites were the colored glass and the gorgeous hyperbolic scarves - we smelled the fantastic cheese strudel baking at the little cafe (and wished it would be less than twenty more minutes before it was done), and we admired the ocean views. The rocky northern shores of the Atlantic seem to me to be a wild sort of beauty, with white-tipped waves crashing against the rocks.  It was a beautiful way to enjoy a day of January sunshine.

And since no adventure is complete without a Jamba Juice, we stopped on the way home for a treat.

Happy Saturday!

Happy New Year

I celebrated today by listening to Handel's Messiah after spending 3 hours trying to clean the basement. I think the first layer of dirt is gone... then I had to clean myself and then my bathroom and my kitchen. But things are feeling better now. And all the laundry is done. If I had 4 more hours worth of energy, I'd clean the rest of the floors and rugs, too. I guess that's what next week is for.

Oh yeah, and for filing. Normally I do it on New Year's Day, but tomorrow is the Sabbath, so I will write letters, study the scriptures, write in my journal, and cook enough food for the next week instead.

I am grateful for the Christmas season we just had. It was a blessing to me, and my testimony of my Savior grew in abundance. I am glad to be a member of His Church, and for the blessings of the temple and personal revelation. They have made all the difference in my life this year.

Sabbath Musings

I have been contemplating many things recently, from how to get food to magically appear in my kitchen without any preparation or trips to the grocery store (unlikely), to how to get enough sleep and still do all the things that need doing (near impossible), to the remarkable change that takes place in my heart when I serve someone for years on end (astonishing), to the ways my testimony of Jesus Christ and His gospel has grown through the experiences of the past twelve months (profound).

I was thinking in Relief Society today as we talked about exaltation - what it is, how to obtain it, and why it is so important to focus on it - about a conversation I had with a colleague of mine a year or so ago. We had been discussing another employee. Who or why is irrelevant to the story (mostly because I don't remember). She contested that no matter what I invested in this person, it would do no good because "people can't change". I don't recall my direct answer to her then, but I knew as well then as I know now that she and I believe entirely differently on that point.

The foundational principle of the Gospel in which I believe is that people can change - and that they do, every day. King Benjamin's people were not just saying some trite, meaningless phrases when they responded to his teachings with the expression "we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more desire to do evil, but to do good continually." Truly, their hearts had been changed. Their tendency to act in ways that violated God's commandments had been replaced with a burning desire to do good. I'm not talking about murder and covetousness and adultery here, although the desire for those things died, too. This experience also changed the tendency for a man to get upset with his neighbor because he felt taken advantage of; his secret desire for the failure of his colleague who was implementing a bad idea; the self-pitying nobody-appreciates-me-itis that made hard workers disgruntled; and the judgmental conversations about others wherein ignorance met speculation.

If the Gospel is true (and it is), then when the Atonement of Jesus Christ is efficacious in our lives, it provides a way for us to change not just our behaviors, but our very natures. We learn to give even when others don't give equally back; we learn to support our leaders even when we disagree with their ideas, and then pray fervently for their success; we learn that gratitude for God's blessings overcomes all forms of -itis; we learn that withholding judgment is sometimes the best choice, for only One knows the desires of our hearts and can truly judge righteously.

God, our Father, who gives us all, is so anxious to bless us that He gave us blessings in anticipation of our obedience! He gave us life, breath, this world and all its beauty. Then, every time we obey, He pours out blessings upon our heads - more than I feel I merit, at times - and yet, He does so willingly, lovingly, and without expectation: further obedience does not settle the account, you see. He continues to bless us abundantly each time we obey. It is not about keeping score. If it were, I'd be losing. Every day.

Perhaps this is part of what it means to become like God - to learn to bless and give willingly, abundantly, and generously, regardless of response. To forgive those who (literally or figuratively) wound us, as Jesus forgave those who pierced His hands and feet and side. To love those who may never thank us for all we gave on their behalf. To give, and give, and then give some more, without demanding anything in return, because it is how we express our love and our confidence in the one to whom we give.

Such a description rings true of parenthood. Fatherhood. Motherhood. Godhood. Exaltation.

I have experienced this kind of fundamental change in my own life. I am by no means perfect, but my Father has, in His wonderful, loving, omnipotent way, taught me a little bit about how to love like this. He has filled my heart with feelings that must be akin to His: great yearnings for the happiness of His children; desires for them to know Him as I know Him, that they might see His hand in their lives as I see His hand in mine. These yearnings fill my soul some minutes, and leave me wondering how to share that which I know with those I love in such a way that it will penetrate into their hearts - the part that is prepared to receive His love.

I don't have all the answers, nor do I profess to, but I am confident that when I join forces with the most powerful being in the Universe, we'll figure it out together. And it is that confidence that tied together a lesson on exaltation, a lesson on the book of the Revelation of St. John, three beautiful talks on compassion, a thought on our everlasting sphere of influence, and the prayer of a loving bishop in tithing settlement into one great message: the message of Christmas, of Christ, of Love.

On Reality

Some days, you just have to laugh.

Goal: be super productive and get lots done after a wonderful three day weekend.

Reality: 10 am - orient self to recently rebuilt computer and catch up on email. 11 am - meeting one (recurring, planned, fine). 11:45 am - meeting two (spontaneous but necessary). 12:15 pm - meeting three (also spontaneous but necessary). 12:45 pm - call IT so recently rebuilt computer will run the way I'm used to. 1:10 pm - kick IT out and start meeting four (ten minutes late). 1:30 pm - relocate meeting four to colleague's office who also has the computer program I need for the meeting (and involve said colleague). 2:00 pm - meeting five (planned, but 30 min late). 2:30 pm - grab food, tell IT about computer problem, and head to meeting six (unplanned but essential). 3:30 pm - grab more food and head into meeting seven (an hour later than planned). 6 pm - start the day's work by doing a bunch of unimportant stuff that will clear my desk and my head. 7:10 pm - look at the clock, startled - it's already time to go to FHE!

The best part about tomorrow is that I can try again. :-)