Budding Thoughts

Today I am wishing for some blue skies and lilacs.  Instead, I get grey skies laden with snow and wind.  Brr... I'm bundled up in a warm blanket my friend gave me for my birthday and a bunch of layers (almost to the point of ridiculosity), and I'm feeling warm now, for which I am grateful.  Around 1:00 pm, the sun broke through the clouds and a few brief rays of sunshine found their way into my windows.  A stream of light illuminated a section of my dining room and splashed on my living room rug.  As much as I could, I turned my face toward the sunshine and felt grateful for its brief appearance in my life today.  Every day, I am grateful for the Son as well as the sun.  I think it is not by accident that those two words sound the same...

Teaching Relief Society is an interesting experience.  Sometimes (today included), even after adequate preparation, I don't feel an overwhelming sense of direction as to which points in the lesson need greater attention.  My desire as a teacher is to lead a discussion that will enable at least one sister to feel the Spirit.  Sometimes I can feel it, so I know it has happened.  Sometimes I can't feel anything special - and then I just keep going until it is time to close.  It's these times that are most interesting.  Did I do a good job?  A bad job?  A mediocre job?  If I don't feel it, how can I know?

Invariably, after lessons like these, someone will come up to me and say "thank you - I felt the Spirit".  That got me thinking today.  Sometimes I think we expect our experiences with the Spirit to be big and miraculous every time.  Then we have a day where we have the Spirit with us, and we feel nothing different - because feeling the Spirit is normal.  It is a simple, quiet influence whose effect is indiscernable if a particular day is viewed in isolation, but when we look back over years of life, we find it has changed us in remarkable ways.  So at least for now, I don't worry that I didn't feel anything "powerful" today.  That doesn't mean I have failed.  In fact, it may very well mean that I am succeeding beyond anything I could have imagined.