Merry Christmas

I had the best blessing this morning.

I went to the temple before work to give myself with a dose of true reality.  Guess who I saw there?  My best and most favoritest temple buddy!  It made my day so much better than it was... and her hug helped make all my other troubles seem more manageable. The odd part is, she doesn't usually work on Thursday mornings, that I know of, and I never go to the temple on Thursday mornings.  Except today.

Tonight I am most grateful for true, faithful friends.

My Life Is Insane.

Just when I think I have the hang of what I'm doing:

I have a day in which all I do is have meetings,
People start telling me their anxieties and that either
     (a) sucks my time
     (b) makes me anxious
     (c) both,
My to do list is longer than my Christmas list, (OK, maybe that's always been the case... but whatever.)
AND it snows.

Oh well.

5 days 'til FUN!

4 people at FHE

At least I ate 3 meals

2 stocking stuffers (to buy)

1 BlackBerry (maybe the battery will die).

Finished!

My project for a special friend is done! - and it's not even Christmas yet!  Pictures to come, maybe ... you have to wait at least until after the surprise isn't a surprise anymore.

I am almost done with Christmas shopping. Some things I have shipped to the Christmas place; others are spread around the house waiting to be wrapped and packed (although probably in the opposite order; the roll of wrapping paper will go in the suitcase with the presents at least until I've been through security). I think I did well this year at thinking of good gifts. And I'm almost done with my shopping.

This Sabbath Day was a good and productive one.  I feel rested and refreshed and ready to begin a new week (almost).

Six days and counting!

New Hope

Yesterday, I wanted to throw my hands in the air, give up and move on. What I am trying to do is hard, and sometimes I wonder if it is worth the effort. As I was feeling most weighed down by my troubles, I ran into a wonderful friend, who listened and encouraged me to let the Spirit guide me. Later, I pondered my situation, and I remembered all the little promptings I have had in the last month and a half - many of which I remembered as words written here, for you (but apparently mostly for me).

Today felt easier. I made some progress. And then, this evening, I watched a video found here. And I felt something else. Something indescribable, but something like peace. A feeling that perhaps (more likely definitely) there is something bigger going on here than I perceive. And everything will work out - it will not only be OK, but it will also bring me joy. I have God on my side.

That is the essence of this Christmas season.

On Grace

This thought has occurred to me more than once this weekend:

Grace - the divine enabling power offered by Jesus Christ to make us greater than we are on our own - is a gift of this season.

Just as Christmas is incomplete without Christ; without His grace, so we are incomplete. "Be ye therefore perfect", He taught, "even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." Perfect, in the sense of complete, finished, fully developed.

A number of friends recently have related personal challenges - stumbling-blocks, heartache, feelings of inadequacy. But in each conversation, I hear stories of miracles, compassion, and hope. Hope in our Savior, who makes all things right. Compassion when friends band together and pray for the strength of the one in need. Miracles of peace and healing after years of searching. Grace, active in the lives of those I love, touches my heart and softens me.

Grace enables me beyond my natural capacity in ways that astound me, that cause me to drop to my knees in humility and gratitude. Friends rally around me to help me carry what must be, sometimes, a burden unknown to them. Their help eases the strain, if only for a moment, I am renewed, and I feel my own back strengthened. Problems for which I have no answers become opportunities for revelation, and God gives direction as He has promised. I plead for the Spirit's guidance, then get up and go to work, marveling at the ways in which that prayer is answered. Even when I can see no more than one step ahead, the small whisperings of peace propel me forward.

My grace is sufficient - these comforting words fill me with hope. Without Him, I am incomplete, but with Him, I am stretched, enlarged, magnified, and molded into the perfect being He has seen within me all along.

Friday Freedom

The week is over! And as a result, I'm a little better at

- having hard conversations
- admitting when I'm wrong
- taking control of my time
- feeling grateful for supportive and loving friends and
- looking for inspiration

Thanks for the love, prayers, and food you provide. It all makes a wonderful positive difference.

Reminder to Myself

If a loving Father in Heaven can make it so I hit most of the lights green from Newton to East Cambridge (thus cutting the time it took to get to FHE from 25 to less than 15 minutes)...

He can help me get through this week. In all its insanity.

(Your prayers won't hurt, either...Thanks.)

Sweet is the Peace

Yesterday was tricky, and I was bothered by something that happened.  I chose to be frustrated and upset by it.  (So much so that I vented for an hour to my wonderful friend, who kindly listened.  Then I thought about it most of the night and some of this morning...)  This afternoon, I worked in the temple. What a wonderful blessing!  I let the spirit of the temple permeate my soul and help me let go of the feelings left over from yesterday.  Now, instead, I feel peace.

Sweet is the peace the gospel brings
To seeking minds and true.
With light refulgent on its wings
It clears the human view.

Simple Things

I have a totally awesome visiting teacher.

She comes over and brings dinner. She tells me a little about her life and lets me talk a lot about mine.

Usually, she's waiting for me on my porch when I get home. But she is understanding of my insane schedule.

When she leaves, I am a better person than when she came.

Tonight, Heavenly Father knew I needed a little more to get my mind of the concerns of the day.

So he also sent a friend with ice cream to see me.

It was a good thing. (The ice cream was good too...)

I am glad for friends who step up and help me before I ask.  That is a great blessing.

The Christmas Season Has Begun!

See?  Gingerbread houses!

A front view... and some of the details - a snowman... a tree... and a nativity!

I am admittedly very proud of the snowman. Two vanilla tootsie rolls, two grains of green sugar, five grains of red sugar, and a very very small sliver of an orange gumdrop for the nose.

It is the first time I've made a manger scene from tootsie rolls - I did also use a few gumdrops, a smartie, and a gummy frog for the sheep, with frosting-wool.  Perhaps, then, it's just a frog in sheep's clothing?

Happy Holidays!

Grateful? or Giddy?

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I'm excited.

I am really excited because I don't have to work. I am totally excited to see my east coast family. I am also excited for the actual day itself.

There is a lot to be thankful for this week. Here are some of the more random things:

- wonderful, trustworthy associates
- BBQ pulled pork
- my down comforter
- that the ticket I found on my windshield tonight after I forgot to put money in the meter didn't make me mad
- Chipotle burritos, chips & guacamole
- service, both given and received
- Celtic Christmas music
- spiritual guidance
- and (of course) the fun of keeping awesome presents a secret!

Happy Thanksgiving.

Just Like Jeremiah

I learned a little something in Sunday School today.

When Jeremiah was called to be a prophet and do hard things, he said (paraphrasing) You couldn't mean me! I'm just a child.

The Lord answered (again paraphrasing) Don't worry. You'll be fine. I'll tell you what to say.

And later, He also said (this is for real) I have made thee this day a defenced city, and an iron pillar ... and they shall fight against thee; but they shall not prevail against thee; for I am with thee, saith the Lord, to deliver thee.

When Father wants us to do something hard, He does not just say, hey, go do that hard thing.  He also says, it will be hard, but I'm going to be with you every step of the way. Just trust me.

That is important.

The New Normal

I made a comment last week: stressed is the new normal. I made it in jest. But it's accurate.

The usual pace has picked up a notch.  It's kind of like trying to run a six minute mile... six times a day, with maybe a little chance to catch your breath in between. (I haven't done even one that fast since high school...)

I used to wonder how my supervisor could go all day on a banana and a few pieces of rye bread with raisins. (It's pretty good stuff! He shares.)  Today, he counseled me to take advantage of every offer for a lunch run - it was the only way he was guaranteed to eat.  I know what he means - there isn't five minutes to warm up the leftovers. Today, between the time I got the lettuce out and the time I had a salad on my plate, I had two conversations with colleagues and had walked to the other side of the building to consult with the construction guys who wanted to schedule some work on an adjoining wall. If people need you, they'll find you - in the office or in the kitchen. I started my lunch at 3.  I finished at 4. I worked the entire hour.

I am learning what makes me really stressed, what is essential to delegate, what is ok to take on, and what has to wait until everyone goes home. I have learned to love my assistant and everything he does for me, and I am eager to begin relying on even more people to help me succeed.  I have learned it's ok to do the dishes only once a week, and to wait to clean the house until Friday night.  I am learning how to unwind on weekends.

More than once, I have looked at what I'm trying to do and been amazed that I am starting to get the hang of it.  And that, my friends, is a miracle.

Making My Tuesday

I read my SIL's post about sword fighting with gogurt and laughed and laughed and laughed.  It makes me laugh just thinking about it!  (Of course, I wasn't the one who would have had to clean it up...)

I remembered to call a friend I've been thinking about for a few weeks. At an hour reasonable enough to actually call, not just think about. Yay! And, another friend called me this morning, and we had a lovely chat on the way to our respective destinations, arriving at approximately the same time, so neither of us felt guilty for getting off the phone when we did. I love it when that happens.

It only took 2 tries to successfully parallel park in the space I found on a busy street in Washington Square tonight. Awesome. I have skillz (especially if the space is half again as big as the car...)

My headache was apparently inversely correlated to the number of calories consumed in the past four hours. Who knew? (she says, as she continues to eat dark chocolate covered pomegranate goodies after dinner... (hardly a permanent solution (but boy, are they yummy!)))

The above paragraph slightly resembles some independent if statements I wrote a few weeks ago... minus a few commas...

These are some things that made me happy today. Thus endeth the randomness. Back to work. After one more chocolate pomegranate thingy.

Saturday Miracles

This morning the sun shines brightly through my windows, and my eyes open at 8 am in spite of a late Friday night. I spend a few hours inside, poking around on the internet and thinking about how I want to spend my Saturday.  Then I head outside to get some yardwork done. To my surprise, it is warm! Oh, happy day!  I spend about an hour outside, raking and bagging leaves, cleaning up the back yard, and making friends with the neighbor kids, who are outside playing. It is wonderful. A beautiful day of sunshine is exactly what I need today to relax from a long week.

On Clarity

Last night, I cleaned my windshield. The inside was filthy - it had that thin film of yick on it that doesn't go away when you blow the defroster, so everything glares funny and affects your depth perception.  You know what I mean, right?

The project reminded me of a story told by President Monson. You can read the whole talk here, if you like.

"A young couple, Lisa and John, moved into a new neighborhood. One morning while they were eating breakfast, Lisa looked out the window and watched her next-door neighbor hanging out her wash. 'That laundry’s not clean!' Lisa exclaimed. 'Our neighbor doesn’t know how to get clothes clean!' John looked on but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, Lisa would make the same comments. A few weeks later Lisa was surprised to glance out her window and see a nice, clean wash hanging in her neighbor’s yard. She said to her husband, 'Look, John—she’s finally learned how to wash correctly! I wonder how she did it.' John replied, 'Well, dear, I have the answer for you. You’ll be interested to know that I got up early this morning and washed our windows!'”

The story makes me laugh. The clarity provided by simply washing my windshield makes me think. If a little scrubbing on a window makes that big a difference (and makes night driving that much safer), it must be a very good thing to spend a little time cleaning off the windows of our perspective every once in a while. It would help us avoid judging others unfairly because of our own faults, fears, or bad experiences. It is a choice that provides spiritual safety.

DST Has Ended

No more daylight savings time this year.

For me, this means darkness before 5 pm. It means endless days ahead of "night" driving, even when I'm going somewhere before dinner (I mean, the time regular people eat dinner... here, dinner is sometimes had after dark even in high summer...). It means cold.

But, last night, as I was in my kitchen at 4:30 (because it was Sunday and I had time to cook), I looked out my window and saw the most beautiful sight. The sky was red-gold and brilliant, and the setting sun was reflecting off the clouds, spreading across the horizon far and wide.  As I watched, I saw those gorgeous reds gathered into the sunset, growing deeper and more focused, until they were all collected low on the horizon.

And I was grateful that because DST had ended, I had seen the sunset on an early Sabbath evening.

The Other Side of the Fence

Three years ago, I was driving home one night talking with my good mother about my latest problems. I couldn't understand how what was going on in my life could possibly be good for me, and felt very confused as to how growth and happiness could come from such difficult circumstances. It was a hard thing to face - one of the hardest things I had faced yet.

I survived. I even thrived, after a while. As time went on, I was grateful to check off that set of experiences as something in the past and move on to happier and more pleasant challenges.

Now a new set of challenging opportunities is before me. It is, I think, as equally stressful and complex, although in slightly different ways, as the aforementioned problem. However, I feel (for the most part) a sense of peace about what is coming.  Even though it's coming at me with the speed of a locomotive crossing an uninhabited part of Kansas. 

The thought occurred to me this morning: you have been prepared for this. And this time, instead of wanting to turn around and run, I walk into the opportunity feeling confident that I will succeed - because I have confidence in The Plan, the plan, and in personal revelation.

A Spirit-Filled Weekend

This was the best Halloween weekend ever.

Did I celebrate? Not in your usual fashion. (That's what I love best about this holiday being on Sunday!)

We had Stake Conference this weekend, so I spent Saturday night and most of Sunday in meetings.  Wonderful meetings. Spirit-filled meetings. Meetings where I received personal revelation and insight about my life and what my Father wants me to do. Meetings and experiences so wonderful that I came home with a heart full to bursting with happiness. Indescribable happiness ...

I made a few insightful observations this weekend. Here are the two I feel ok with sharing...

First, I witnessed a scripture in action as Bishop McMullen from the Presiding Bishopric of the Church taught us in our meetings.  From Moroni 6: "And their meetings were conducted by the church after the manner of the workings of the Spirit, and by the power of the Holy Ghost; for as the power of the Holy Ghost led them whether to preach, or to exhort, or to pray, or to supplicate, or to sing, even so it was done."  And can I just say, this opens the door to revelation more rapidly than anything else I have ever experienced!

Second, I observed what the temple can do for us.  As I sat on the stand with the choir before the Annual Temple Workers Devotional today, I noticed something very unusual. By five minutes to the hour (when the meeting was supposed to start), everyone present was in their seats, quietly listening to the prelude music. Most meetings are preluded (is that a word???) by joyous visiting and talking and general cacophony. Temple workers sit in silent expectation, allowing the Spirit of the Holy Ghost to enter the meeting before the opening remarks. That is what the temple does for us. It teaches how to open our minds and hearts to revelation. It refines our spiritual selves so that we differentiate between the time for visiting and the time for quiet reflection. It elevates our hearts and minds to the things of heaven, and allows us to see the world from the perspective of the grand, eternal Plan of Salvation instead of just the mountainous temporal to-do lists.

Working in the temple is one of the best things I have ever chosen to do.

How Cutting Boards Are Also Teaching Tools

I was pulling out my cutting board the other day (my nice, new, rubber-edged, wash-it-only-by-hand-to-keep-it-looking-nice cutting board), and noticed some enthusiastic helper had unintentionally made large cut marks in it. For a split second, I was disappointed, and thought to myself, perhaps I should not share what I really care about...  Then, realizing what I'd just thought, I thought again (for of course, what else is a cutting board for?) - perhaps I should not care so much about the things I share. 

Fast foward two or three days. Now I'm sitting in Relief Society and we're talking about Elder D. Todd Christofferson's talk from General Conference called "Reflections on a Consecrated Life."  Something our lovely instructor said reminded me of this brief incedent a few days earlier, and I pondered its signficance... If God asked me to give up my cutting board, I could do it. The more contemplative question is this: if God asked me to give up the thing about which I cared the most, how would I respond?

Wherein You Use Your Imagination

I have been enjoying cooking the past few days. Unfortunately, I always think about taking a picture after I've eaten it. So, instead, I'll try to write a thousand words about each one... or not. :-)

Garlic Spinach Pizza with a Twist... imagine pizza dough topped with a garlic cream sauce, chopped spinach, mozzerella chunks, and craisins. Yes, you heard right. Craisins! I was out of tomatoes last Sunday, and tried these sweetened, dried cranberries as an alternative for the red color.  I loved it!  So much so, I made it again today.  Mmm... The red/green/white combination is beautiful, and I love it when the cheese browns slightly to a toasty perfection.

Butternut Squash Soup... now think about a rich golden soup flavored with nutmeg and cinnamon. No cream in this one, just the mild butternut squash flavor combined perfectly with fresh tart apple. A slice of sourdough from the bakery serves as a great alternative to a spoon for the first half of the bowl.

And finally, BBQ pulled pork... this is my favorite way to eat pork. Made in a crock pot, simmered in root beer (!), and topped with BBQ sauce. It tastes wonderful as a hot sandwich on toasted sourdough with muenster cheese (but then again, that tastes wonderful by itself), or cold as a side to some fruits and veggies. A great (and portable!) lunch option!

And that, my friends, is what I've been doing this weekend.

Another Lesson

I was assigned to teach Relief Society today. The lesson topic was "Repentance."

For a week, I considered the topic and tried to figure out in my mind how to present it. For a week, I had lots of ideas, learned a few lessons, and took lots of notes. But by last night at midnight, I still didn't know what I was going to say when I stood up in front of my sisters.  I was worried.

Then this morning, I woke up without an alarm about 30 minutes before I needed to get up for church. My mind again began considering what to say and how to say it. I took the extra time to ponder and pray. As I prayed for inspiration and for the Spirit, I had two thoughts come into my mind.

1. Heavenly Father loves you.
2. Repentance is a privilege.

They were simple thoughts, really, and hardly seemed like enough to base a 30 minute lesson on, but that was what He wanted me to teach. And when I stood up in front of my class, and wrote those two thoughts on the board, and started to talk, my mind cleared and my heart knew what to say. The Spirit was present, and I was filled.

Imagine. A Father who loves you so much, He prepared a way for you to progress - a way that involves coming to earth to develop, to change in ways that make you more like Him. A way that is so infinitely all-encompassing, it doesn't matter how many times you make a mistake, or how magnificent the mistakes you make are. He has already solved that problem - His Son atoned for those mistakes - and He offers peace and healing in exchange for repentance and change.

It is such a profound principle, I think I need another week to ponder it.

I Have Faith

"In whatever country you live, however young or inadequate you feel, or however aged or limited you see yourself as being, I testify you are individually loved of God, you are central to the meaning of His work, and you are cherished and prayed for by the presiding officers of His Church. The personal value, the sacred splendor of every one of you, is the very reason there is a plan for salvation and exaltation. Contrary to the parlance of the day, this is about you. No, don’t turn and look at your neighbor. I am talking to you! ... No one of you is insignificant, in part because you make the gospel of Jesus Christ what it is—a living reminder of His grace and mercy, a private but powerful manifestation in small villages and large cities of the good He did and the life He gave bringing peace and salvation to other people."

- Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

On Vision

I had a day the other day that would have been all right, if I hadn't had to get up at the beginning. 

OK, it wasn't that bad... but it was a day that came after two days of overcast rainy mist, and those two days were kind of long and a little challenging.  Then I had some news that sort of threw me off kilter.  By the end of the day, I was feeling rather blah-ish and wishing things were different. 

Like, wishing I could do everything I felt like I was supposed to be doing - exercise, study the gospel, use different time to study to prepare my RS lesson for Sunday, serve my friends, get my laundry done, fulfill my dreams, eat healthy dinners, get enough sleep - and wondering how it was all supposed to get done to my satisfaction...

Then I prayed, and basically asked the Lord for the big picture. The "tell me everything so there won't be any surprises and I can figure out how where I am fits in with where I'm going" sort of prayer. He answered... with the words from a hymn:

I do not ask to see
The distant scene
One step enough for me.

As Harold B Lee taught Boyd K Packer: "You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you."

New Wine in Old Bottles...

Last week, my directionals were broken. For those of you not on the East Coast, those are your turn signals, your blinkers, whatever else you call them. I never knew I could feel so unsafe driving as a safe driver. Every time I had to change lanes or turn, it produced anxiety.

Three days and two trips to the mechanic later, I have a new blinker-turner-on-er and I feel safe on the road again (except when it's dark and misty-raining and it's hard to see anything even when you are driving a car with directionals). Only the new one makes a plastic-y clicking sound, like you hear in cars from more recent models, instead of the old metallic clicking sound like my old one.  So if I'm not looking, when I turn on my blinker, I can pretend I have a new car.  Whee.  :-)

Sales - It's All About the Details

I was in the mall on Saturday headed to Williams-Sonoma to buy myself a present when I was approached by a woman from one of those little middle-of-the-mall shops you see sort of scattered throughout the main thoroughfares.  (They're the mall equivalent of pushcarts, I think.)

Since there's no polite way to say no to "May I ask you a question?" (usually the question is, do you have the time?), I was sucked in before I knew what happened.  This sales woman then proceeded to ask me if I had ever heard of her skin care line (I hadn't, nor do I remember it...) and wanted to show me how amazing it was.

First, the amazing nail care block (the kind with 3-4 sides made of something different on each side) that promises a beautiful shine and perfect nails for a month.  (Less than 24 hours later, I couldn't tell a difference...)  She looked at my hands and asked my profession. Doctor? Teacher? Um, how about "Administrator"?  Your hands look like you wash them a thousand times a day.  Sure... I just finished doing dishes an hour ago. Who wears lotion just to go to the mall?  The cuticle remover makes your cuticles disappear (dissolve? why would I put anything on my nails that makes my skin dissolve?) and never come back - until the next time you wash your hands.  Awesome.

On to the facial care products... try this exfoliating gel, use it only once a month, one container lasts a whole year (there was a picture on it indicating it was a 6-month supply).  It will make any blemishes you have completely resolve... you can go makeup-free and show off your natural beauty!  Then why are you wearing full-coverage makeup - lots of it?  Then you rub in this lotion... see how much more quickly it absorbs when you use the product? Especially when you rub it in two different ways to enhance the contrast.

Just for you, I'll knock my partner's commission off the price of the product, and give you a discount, because I know you'll love it if you try it.  Thanks - that will make me feel really awesome.  Someone else works for free, and I get expensive skin care product.

Let's face it. I said no.  Well, actually, she wasn't taking no for an answer, so I said, let me think about it and we'll come back if we decide to buy it.  We didn't.

What she didn't know about me (including my profession and how often I wash my hands) was that I have years of higher education (and a little obsession with certain TV shows) that have taught me how to pay attention to detail.  And if you want to sell something to one who has learned to be observant, you have to live and act what you sell - not just believe it.  And, it has to work.  Of course, then it sells itself anyway, so you don't need to try to persuade me.

Like the awesome wok I bought.

That evening I went to the General Relief Society Meeting and heard our prophet counsel us to be charitable and avoid harsh judgment.  (And I was glad I didn't actually say any of the commentary I just wrote into my story.)

The End.

Picture This

A self-accompanied seranade - by playing the trumpet on YouTube and singing live...

Imaginary squirrels playing a trumpet fanfare on a branch outside my window...

Delectable food served in a three-course meal (of sorts)...

Leaving on time instead of late (for once) on a Friday!...

Friends, laughter and feeling love.

I have plenty of reasons to be happy tonight.

Happiness

Tonight I went to the temple. Before I left, I remembered it has been two weeks since I was there (I was in the Oakland temple last weekend, but it's not the same). And I realized I've missed it, and remembered how much I love it.  Being in the temple fills my heart with happiness. Sometimes I feel it bubbling over and spilling out, sometimes it is just a full-to-the-brim sort of happiness (that's how it was tonight). Invariably, it's the kind of happiness that equates to peace and contentment, long-term satisfaction, and understanding. In the temple, it is easy to remember that Heavenly Father has a plan specifically designed for me. As I sat and pondered for a few minutes before I came home again, I thought of all the reasons I have to be happy, and let the feeling of contentment settle into my soul for a few minutes. Sometimes, I am so wrapped up in the latest this or that, so focused on what I need or want or do not have, that I forget to be content with the abundance with which I am surrounded. Then I talk to a sibling or I go to the temple (or tonight, I do both) and I remember how blessed I am and how much I have to be grateful for. And it leaves me feeling satisfied. Content. Happy. Not in the "I bought a cinnamon-scented thingy and I'm enjoying it thoroughly" sort of way (which I did and am), but in the "God loves me and has really blessed me" sort of way (which He does and continues to do). And that is a good thing.

Random Thoughts on a Monday

Within a four-day span, I saw the Atlantic, the Pacific, and the Atlantic again. The clouds seem to hang lower in the Pacific, and you can spot bits of blue sky in between the piles of grey.  Sometimes, coming off a mountain, you descend into the cloud for a bit, before descending below its reach.  Parts of northern California look a little bit like New England, but only here and there, in an "almost, if you use your imagination," sort of way.  I missed the charm of New England while I was gone.  Only four days, but I was ready to come back.

I believe now a little more than I did before (which was already a lot, for the record) in miracles, marriage, and the great power that creating an eternal family has over the forces of evil in the world.  It brought hope to my heart to see the joy and happiness radiating from the faces of a bride and groom; both had waited years for this day, and both agreed it was well worth the wait.  Our Father has a specifically tailored plan for each of us, and great happiness lies at the end, if we will but trust in Him.

Tonight, I bought a cinnamon-scented broom-shaped decorative piece for my house.  Because every time I walk into Shaw's, the smell permeates my nostrils and piques my interest, and calls my name. Once I found the source of the smell, the decision was made.  Even though I (as a general rule) don't like Halloween decor, I'll figure out how to use it. It makes me happy. I deserve to be happy. (Especially if it only costs $6.99...)

Never go to San Francisco without renting a GPS with your vehicle. Especially if you're going to make me the navigator. I realized I've been living in New England a while because east is now defined as "toward the ocean" and west is "away from the ocean".  That works about as well in CA as "go toward the Pru" does in Western MA...  Fortunately, our driver knew what I meant in spite of my redefined directionality, and we got where we were going. Mostly. (Even if we did take the scenic route once or twice.)

That is all.

Cyclists of the Boston Variety

Warning: Rant.

1. Person on bicycle without a helmet, riding through an intersection of a one-way street the wrong way. As the light turns green for cross traffic. Huh?

2. Two persons, wearing black, riding down a dimly lit main road (on the proper side, but not in tandem!), with no head or tail lights. Are you trying to die?

3. Two more persons, wearing dark colors, riding in the bike lane of a typically busy road at 10 pm, with no helmets, head or tail lights.  Um, please tell me you're not going to get mad at me if I hit you... and then see Question 2.

When I ran the Reach the Beach relay, I sort of hated wearing those lit up glow vests at night, but they did have one effective purpose.  I was visible.  Really, how much does a set of those blinky lights cost?  At least wear a head lamp... or stick a flashlight in your mouth... or something.  Save us all the emotional trauma of unintentionally injuring someone we couldn't see.

To my esteemed friends who bicycle safely (i.e., wear helmets, use lights, and ride on the proper side of the road), thank you.

I'm Under Attack!

My nieces and nephews are on a mission. They have joined forces, united in their cause, and are launching a full-on attack. Their object? To get a certain someone to visit for the holidays.

A month and a half ago, I received two letters and an email. Apparently, I was a little slow in my response time... in the past 24 hours, three more emails filled my inbox with love.

"Hi ... i was thinking to write you a letter.I love you" -- "me and my siblings would really like to see you again do you think you could come?" -- "for Christmas, ... we all agreed that the best present would be you coming to visit us."

In general, I'm not terribly hard to persuade... let's just say this, my friends: I lost this battle almost immediately after it began.  My sunshine fix can wait until February - I need my family fix at Christmas.

God Moves in a Mysterious Way

Yesterday I had to pull a 13-hour day. Despite the holiday on Monday, it started with my alarm going off - hitting snooze - my alarm going off again - turning it off - and going back to sleep.  Twenty minutes later, there was a very obnoxious bird cawing outside my window. It woke me up again, and this time I got out of bed.

That is, I admit, the only time in my life I've prayed in gratitude for an obnoxious bird outside my window.

Lest you think I was just dreaming ('cuz let's face it - I did, for a bit), I heard the same bird again this morning, although not nearly as close by, and only in between cracks of thunder and flashes of lightning (since this morning we had a rip-roaring storm to get me up).  Perhaps the Lord knows how much I need help getting out of bed this week.

The rest of my long day yesterday was quite good, thanks for asking.  My favorite part of the first Tuesday of every month is the stark contrast between the pace of my morning work (frenetic) and the pace of my evening work (peaceful). During the day, I get to be "the boss of things" (in a manner of speaking), there is a fair amount of running around, and I usually don't have time for lunch.  In the late afternoon and evening, the temple windows reflect sunlight brilliantly, it's totally appropriate to slow down (physically and mentally), and I receive revelation. I love it.

On Prayer

We sang the hymn Prayer is the Soul's Sincere Desire in church today. It brought some good memories to mind; in particular, I remembered the spirit I felt as I directed the choir in singing this song a few years ago. The words are poignant and beautiful:

Prayer is the soul's sincere desire,
Uttered or unexpressed,
The motion of a hidden fire
That trembles in the breast.

Prayer is the burden of a sigh,
The falling of a tear,
The upward glancing of an eye
When none but God is near.

Prayer is the simplest form of speech
That infant lips can try;
Prayer, the sublimest strains that reach
The Majesty on high.

Prayer is the Christian's vital breath,
The Christian's native air,
His watchword at the gates of death;
He enters heav'n with prayer.

Prayer is the contrite sinner's voice,
Returning from his ways,
While angels in their songs rejoice
And cry, "Behold! He prays!"

Nor prayer is made on earth alone:
The Holy Spirit pleads,
And Jesus at the Father's throne
For sinners intercedes.

O thou by whom we come to God,
The Life, the Truth, the Way!
The path of prayer thyself hast trod;
Lord, teach us how to pray.

It reminds me of the sacred relationship between man and his Maker. We can turn to Him and talk with Him in all things and about all things: our desires and longings, the little happenings of our day, the things we wish we had (or hadn't) said, our fears and hopes and dreams. We can ask for His help, and He will give it. We can thank Him for all we have and are. He can ease our pain, fill our hearts with joy, and bring healing and peace in place of deep wounds. I am glad for the blessing of prayer.

Signage

My favorite sign I saw today, on the message board of a church right off Rte 2:

God answers kneemails.

How true.

Happy Weekend!

Goodbye, Earl

There's a country song by that name. (It's one of my least favorites, in case you're wondering.)  But it's also what we said tonight as we watched the weather. No more hurricane watch for us - nope - we're down to tropical storm warnings here. So much for the hype. The best part about being prepared is that you don't have to do anything two days before a hurricane to get ready. Just sayin'.

I made a list earlier this week.  Things I need to do, things I want to do. OK, it was two lists. The need to do?  Clean the bathroom, dishes, hang the clean laundry, wash the dirty laundry, that kind of thing. The want to do? Write letters to my nieces (sorry ladies, I'm slow), family history, watch my TV show.  The other night I did the need to do list. (Some of it) Tonight I did the want to do list. (Some of it. OK, only the last one. But whatever.) And now it's 1 am.  Good thing Monday's a holiday. I appreciate a day of no labor to celebrate the work I do the other 364 days of the year. :-)

And the best news ever. I have a button! I must be getting good at this whole web presence thing. I am learning how to write code, too - today I got the code to do almost half of what I wanted!  Pretty good for an amateur's-attempt-with-no-IT-department-helping effort, I think.

The End.

Good Sabbath

I love Sundays!

We had great discussions in church about Job and affliction and how it can bring us closer to God; and about sharing the Gospel and how we can do it effectively; and the choir sang and sounded great.

This afternoon I spent considering some of the important aspects of the gospel and visiting with a friend I haven't seen in a while. I made yummy food in preparation for the upcoming week, and I get to go visiting teaching in a few minutes.  It really has been a wonderful day of rest.  Just as the Lord prescribed. :-)

Chillin' on the Chaise

Some purchases are totally worth every penny you spend.

For example, my bamboo serving trays.

Free, courtesy of a colleague's kindness and a gift card.

And very useful!

(They make eating dinner on the couch much less messy.)

Then there's my chaise.

Have I told the whole couch purchasing adventure story?

I bought a living room set that seemed to be exactly what I wanted.

It didn't fit through the first front door.

I scaled down, and bought another couch/loveseat combination

(this one was smaller).

Only the loveseat fit.

The couch was too big for the second front door.

By only an inch or two.

The third time, I purchased a sectional - a loveseat and a chaise.

Bingo!

Both pieces fit through both doors, and sits nicely in my living room.

And now I'm glad I didn't end up stuck with a plain, boring couch.

Chaise pieces are awesome.

As evidenced by the fact that I don't really sit anywhere else but here.

The end.

Questions (and Random News)

I learned how to make potato pancakes last night.  They tasted best with salt and syrup. I guess I like the sweet/salty thing. Both seem right for potatoes.  You used to eat your Wendy's fries and frosty together too, right?

It has rained for three days straight. Time to get out the long sleeves and recover a whole new wardrobe from the other closet...  I sort of hope not - it is still August, you know - but it went from 80 to 60 this week. Brr...

Now for the real question.  What do you know about Austrian history?  How does one go about searching for information about an ancestor born in Austria and married in France?  Could an event like the War of the Spanish Succession (1701-1714) have been something to move him the 250 miles between the two places?

Lots of questions... no answers. Yet.

Time + Study + Inspiration = Answers.  Almost always.  Eventually.

I Am Doing It

Sing with me!

Genealogy, I am doing it, my genealogy.
And the reason why I am doing it is very clear to see.
We've a temple trip on Columbus Day and it would certainly
Be so awesome if I could do some work for my fam'ly.

They just announced Stake Temple Day. I have just under two months to prepare. I decided today that it would be cool if I could research my family lines to find people whose spirit lives could be blessed by receiving temple ordinances. So I am going to try. If nothing else, it will be a good adventure!

On Perspective

I had an experience today.  Well, I actually had more than one... but this one was relevant.

I had an opportunity to connect with a good friend and former roommate, who stopped me to tell me thank you again for choices I had made during a hard experience we shared over two years ago.  Her words gave me a new point of view on what others see - and how different it is from what I see when I look in the mirror. It was the good kind of feedback to receive, the kind that opened my eyes to what Heavenly Father sees, and (at least temporarily) derailed the perfectionistic and hypercritical trains of thought.

And frankly, that's the kind of train wreck I wouldn't mind seeing take place more often.

Feeding the Hungry

It was a different sort of week... I alternated between an unmotivated "meh" attitude and feeling super-accomplished.  I felt sort of useless and tired, but also had opportunity to do significant service.  It seemed like I was constantly hungry and searching for food, but I ate some wonderful dishes, too.  On the day my shoes didn't match my pants (which I didn't discover until the end of the day (who does that?!?)), I was complimented on my appearance.  So, like, my week was, you know, different.

But, in the interests of finding something to smile about... let's talk about food.

I tried to make tomato sauce from real tomatoes this week.  It was an adventure.  Well, it was more like a science experiment.  Let's just say, this was not tomato sauce I could feel comfortable sharing with anyone else.  I found myself problem-solving it - if I did this differently, or if I had actually divided the recipe using math instead of generalized approximations, or if I used that kind of tomato - there were all kinds of reasons why it didn't turn out like it should have.  I suppose with a little preparation, I could have had a good experience and made good food too, but it was still worth doing. I learned a lot from my (mostly failed) experiment!

Then, tonight I tried my SIL's suggestion for pizza.  Talk about amazingly good... her garlic sauce recipe, combined with fresh basil, fresh tomatoes, fresh mozzerella.  Mmm... I think it was one of my better attempts at creativity.  And it looked pretty, too!  (And, I didn't drop it upside-down on the floor this time, either.)  Totally worth every minute of the garlic breath. Seriously.

I also experimented with fresh soybeans - salt-and-peppered edamame - a great snack if you're totally into green healthy stuff.  Tastes better than hot fudge.  Really.  Not kidding. I had both today, and the hot fudge was ridiculously sugary in comparison (just in case you were wondering).

And then there's tomorrow's plan.  My friend at work has a volunteer tomato plant that grew in her compost heap this summer.  The tomatoes are DIVINE.  Seriously.  'Cause how could you get better soil than in a compost heap? :-)  So she shared a little bag of them with me, and tomorrow I get Italian food again!  Grape tomatoes, basil, and mozzerella.  I'm debating whether I want little sandwiches on a fresh baguette or pasta salad.  Either one could be good... or maybe an omelette... the possibilities are endless.

Service Received, Love Expressed

Today I feel blessed.  Not just because it's tax free weekend in Massachusetts, either.  No, my blessings were bigger and better than that today.

There is a wonderful program in the Church called Visiting Teaching.  Essentially, it is women looking after women, taking care of temporal, spiritual, or emotional needs as a loving sister would.  Generally, at the end of a visit, visiting teachers ask their sisters, What can we do for you? and the sister often replies, Nothing - I'm doing fine right now.  Then comes the time when the answer changes, and help is requested... and the visiting teacher has an opportunity to act as an angel for the one she serves.

My visiting teacher did for me today something I could not do for myself (at least, not easily). And she recruited others to help.  Four wonderful friends aided me in accomplishing a major undertaking involving sand, bricks, and my perennial bed, and now my surroundings are more beautiful than before.  But more importantly, I feel the love of my Father in Heaven, as expressed through the love of a visiting teacher.  Thank you, my dear friend.  You exemplify Christlike love in your actions.

And Then The Fun Stuff

I escaped from reality this weekend, and took a few days off to relax. It was my first ever "staycation" - and I loved it! I read the entire Jane Austen novel "Pride and Prejudice" (a personal favorite and wonderful read), accepted my furniture delivery (it's all here - finally!), visited with good friends, treated myself at a spa, slept enough, and relaxed more than I have relaxed in ages.  All day yesterday I was convinced it was Saturday... and all day today I've tried to remember it's not Sunday. I'm not sure what day tomorrow will seem to be - but whatever it is, it will be good!

Third time's a charm... I love my new living room, especially the chaise section of the couch. It was definitely a good choice. Dark red makes a great contrasting color with tan, and I think on the whole (and especially considering the living room has taken two years) things have come together quite nicely.  Special thanks to the awesome sales associate at JCP who spent so much time with me to figure out what would fit inside the (apparently very unusually sized) space between my outside and inside doors, and offered valuable suggestions and phenomenal service. (And no, I didn't get paid to say that.)

Happy Weekend!

On Sealing

I had a cool experience earlier this week.

I watched in reverence as a family was made eternal. 

A mom and a dad and two beautiful girls, gathered together in a holy place, and sealed for eternity by the power of the Holy Priesthood.

Today I had another cool experience.

I was present (as a hall guide of sorts, a "you go here, you go there" person) at the end of two more sealings, once after a husband and wife and once after a bride and groom were joined in everlasting matrimony.

There is nothing better on earth, I think, than seeing the faces of two beautiful people who have just made covenants for eternity.

Some parts of being Mormon are totally awesome.

On Prayer

In the scriptures we are counseled to "pray always" - to pray*

- for mercy
- over our fields & flocks
- over our household (three times a day!)
- against the power of our enemies
- against the devil
- over our fields, for prosperity (or whatever brings us wealth)
- over our flocks, for increase (or whatever puts food on the table)

As well, we should pour out our souls in our closets and our secret places and our wilderness.  And when we're not speaking with the Lord, we should let our hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for our welfare and also for the welfare of those around us. Then, after all that, we are to be charitable, to give to those in need and ease the burdens of others.

* this list is not all-inclusive



I am having an interesting time translating this idea of "pray always" into real life. I do pretty well at "pray in the morning" and "pray at night" and "pray with gratitude over your food". I think I even manage some of the listed topics every day. But when life becomes hectic, when the movement from one thing to the next takes place before one can take a breath, when busy-ness escalates to the point the even meals are missed (or when distractions take their toll), how does one remember to "pray always?"

I take some comfort in the fact that "the song of the righteous is a prayer" unto the Lord, so if I have a hymn in my head, it's like a prayer.  Thus, my experience today with my mind singing "Love at Home" while my hands filed the papers left by another less-than-diligent-person for me to deal with was more holy than it otherwise would have been.  And the days when I don't feel the promptings of the Spirit quite so strongly feel more successful when I remember that the music of the Spirit filled my heart instead.  But often, I come home after a long day, and wonder... I thought a lot about prayer this morning, and am thinking about it now, but what happened in between?

No matter how challenging this idea is to incorporate - and I imagine I'll be doing it for the rest of my life -

I believe in prayer,

I know our prayers are heard,

And they will be answered,

Because He loves us.

A Slow Day

It was a beautiful summer day in Boston; the perfect kind of day to be outside. A gentle but persistent breeze tangled my curls, and the sun shone brightly but not too hot in the blue, cloudless sky. Picture-perfect and idyllic. We wandered along the causeway at Castle Island, sat in the sunshine to watch the water, and talked about important things like who is expecting and who is a twin and the joys of nieces and nephews and experiences we've had that helped us grow into better people. We lunched in the shade of some trees just off the beach, and learned about Fort Independence from men who survived wars and knew what forts like this one stood for. We enjoyed our morning, the slow kind of morning, that lasts a long time yet seems so short, where you do what seems like nothing but it was the best kind of activity that could possibly have been planned.

The rest of the day was the same; slow, steady, a different sense of time than the frantic weekday pace I sometimes often keep. Tomorrow is Fast Sunday. It seems appropriate after slow Saturday. :-)

On Balance

It's been one of those weeks. The kind you look back on and think, Seriously? Where was the balance?

Tuesday I worked until 7:45 or so...

Wednesday I played the "take the car in before work (oh by the way the mechanic wants it by eight) then balance a whole day (on less sleep than usual) and try to get back again before the shop closes at six but don't forget you have that meeting at five and oh by the way don't forget to get a ride or else you have to leave even earlier to catch the T" game...

Then came home and did a week's worth of dishes, hung the laundry I did last week (two weeks ago?), filed the six months worth of paper I had started sorting on the dining room table when I was distracted by the furniture delivery last Saturday and hadn't gotten back to yet, and watched Hercules (until my computer died because I didn't have the power cord with me) to try to disengage from reality.  Which, by the way, makes a lot more sense after reading the Percy Jackson series or getting Greek mythology lessons. The movie, not reality.

Now that my house is clean (ish), I can think more clearly.  One thing is super clear - I need another vacation. 

I determined tonight that it's been about a month since I've gone more than two days without hearing offensive language (and those were all weekends).  There needs to be something to balance it out.  It's really the question of what you think about when you're thinking about nothing.  If you've failed to actively create something else to choose from, wouldn't you think about what you saw and heard all day?  And what if that was all lousy, uneducated, or offensive...?  So it must needs be that we fill our minds with good things, so we have something with which to fill the empty spaces that the bad things would otherwise creep in and take over.

As Elder Holland says, "Like thieves in the night, unwelcome thoughts can and do seek entrance to our minds. But we don’t have to throw open the door, serve them tea and crumpets, and then tell them where the silverware is kept! ... Throw the rascals out! ... Whatever thoughts you have, make sure they are welcome in your heart by invitation only."

Thus, choosing to read (and going back to memorizing) scriptures is more than just good.  It's imperative.

End of sermon to self.

Random Brain Dump

It's a curl up on the couch and watch a movie sort of Friday. Only one problem. No couch.

Notes I would write today - and in case you couldn't tell, I'm really glad for the weekend.

Dear people who wanted everything done five minutes ago all day long,
CHILL. I'm trying to do what it took four people to do last week. You can wait.

Dear sis,
Thanks for looking up a most important piece of information before playing your game tonight. :-)
<3

Dear Chick-Fil-A,
Won't you please consider opening a branch near Watertown?  PLEEEEZE???  Burlington is just too far to drive for dinner on a whim! And you're the only fast food I can stomach.
Your chickin-lovin-customer-to-be.

Dear random beauty consultant,
Just because someone told you I might be interested in her makeover party and gave you my email address does not give you permission to send me unsolicited emails. Especially since I have never met you. Plus, I get better stuff from my sis.

Dear friend whose call dropped twice in 2 minutes,
Thanks for being patient with my lousy reception! It must have been the weather.  If I'd known it would happen, I would have prayed for better reception.  It worked last time.  ;-)
Love, Me.

That is all.

A Summer Sabbath

Last year, I felt gypped out of my summer.  This year, I am not complaining.

I have to keep reminding myself of the former, because it helps me with the latter.

I carefully prepared for church this morning... just like every other Sunday.

Only this Sunday, the A/C was sputtering (at best) and ineffective in our building.

This Sunday, everyone needed a program.

As a fan.

This Sunday, we all had a glow about us.

(Maybe from sweat, maybe from the Spirit.) 

Sacrament meeting wasn't too bad, but it got progressively hotter as the meetings went on, and by the end of Relief Society, I felt like I was going to melt. 

Choir practice felt (as heat exhaustion goes) like mile 12 of a half marathon.

But we were all there - faithful people wanting to worship, even if it was hot, because it was the right place to be on the Sabbath (and as my friend said in the closing prayer, because she knows it's hotter in hell).

In spite of the heat, I felt the Spirit testify of the power of the temple, the reality of the Atonement, and what things I need to ponder this afternoon.

I felt the love of my Savior.

And now, as I sit in my small but air conditioned space at home with a big glass of (mostly) ice (and some) water, I feel grateful for the experience.

Because I know that feeling hot for 4 hours is a small thing to sacrifice in exchange for what I was given in return.

On Memorization

I decided last week that if I used a portion of the time I spent in the bathroom and the car memorizing scripture (no extra time required - just multitask while washing your face or driving to the store!), my day would be a degree more productive without much additional effort.

I started with something easy: Psalm 23. Within a week, I had it down, thanks to a Mormon Tabernacle Choir rendition of the Psalm that helps jog my memory about the order of the phrases.

Then I started in on Isaiah 53. I figured if Abinadi can do it, so can I.  Although perhaps someone could put it to music, too (Handel's Messiah doesn't cover it all)... it would help me.  I'm still working on it, but I have been interested to observe that, as I memorize, I have to first make sense of it - which means I find myself pondering why Isaiah used certain words or phrases.

Why, for example, did he refer to Jesus Christ as "a man of sorrows"? Of all things, I would not have considered His life as one marked with sorrow - particularly because of His triumphant victory over death and hell.  However, as I pondered, I understood that when He saw those who had rejected Him and the salvation He offered, it undoubtedly brought Him much sorrow.  But that cannot be all He experienced - after all, men are that they might have joy.  And He describes His joy multiple places in scripture.  Thus, it stands to reason that His mortal experience was not unlike mine - the deep sorrow He felt carved out a place in His heart for the joy, and His capacity for joy was expanded through His sorrows. 

No wonder He felt a fulness of joy after the completion of His infinite Atonement!

So Exciting!

I came home from church and other activities tonight to find little baby cucumbers, and little teeny baby bell peppers growing in my back porch pot garden!  I'm a real gardener!  It was SO exciting.  Fresh veggies for lunch every day, hand picked and tasty... here I come!

Many more happy things happened today too... but it's super late and my internet finally started working just when I need to go to bed. So you don't get to hear about them.  But my RS lesson went better than expected (and sorta different than the two I planned), and I'm grateful it's over and grateful for the guidance of the Spirit as I teach. It helps me more than anything else could. It turns out that what I needed to learn from the lesson and what I needed to teach were two different principles - and that was OK.  The right one came out during the lesson.

Happy Monday (almost)!

On Calming Storms

Sitting at a stoplight on my way home from CostCo, I looked ahead of me and noticed something unusual: even though there were only a few drops of water on my windshield - not even enough to justify turning on the wipers - the street a few blocks ahead of me looked like it had just been pummeled with rain.  I was literally sitting at the edge of the storm. Sure enough, when the light turned green, I drove right into it - a rip-roaring downpour that rivaled anything I've ever seen.  Windshield wipers on top speed increased visibility to maybe 10 feet.  Roads flash flooded with water up to the headlights. Thunder crashed only seconds after lightning struck.  Umbrellas were useless.  Then, an hour later, it was gone. Rain softly drizzled from the sky, then stopped completely, and all that was left was destruction.  Asphalt roads torn up in huge chunks.  Tree branches down.  Stalled cars stranded in ginormous puddles.  The post-storm stillness.

Now I study and ponder and seek the Spirit to guide me as I teach tomorrow about the Master of the storm. And as I do so, (now that I've quit trying to prepare the lesson my way,) He calms the storm of indecision in my mind, and replaces it instead with peace in my heart. I think I finally know how I'm going to present this one.

“If we love God, we will trust and obey Him, as Jesus did. If we love others, we will help them meet their physical and spiritual needs.”

Can You Relate To...

This?


Or This?


My sis and I had a great conversation about Dilbert-land tonight. It was fun. These two strips made me laugh the hardest... probably because I can totally relate.

Holy Rock

I like this pic. There's a wonderful child standing behind that little rock, peeking through the hole in its center.  It represents perspective.  It represents the power of small things - currents of water and consistent, repetitive effort - to accomplish great things. And it represents love. There is a God in heaven who knew that she would be delighted with this rock - so He made it.


I have been impressed the past few days with the readiness with which our Father answers our prayers, and the profound blessing of His love. In preparing to teach Relief Society on Sunday, I have been studying the life of Christ (no small topic to cover in a 40 minute lesson...). It is profound to consider that every doing and teaching of His life was motivated by one thing: love. As such, no matter what problem we face or struggle we confront, we can find an answer in studying His words and His deeds. As I have considered this truth, I find that it adds a new dimension to the scripture in which He declared, "I am the way, the truth, and the life...".

He is my rock. He gives me perspective. And it is through the small things He asks me to do that I can become great.

Random Thoughts

I caved. A week's forecast of 90-degree weather and no rain in sight... that'll do it to just about anyone. I finally called a friend and recruited help getting my A/C units installed again (thanks!). Now I can move from the "man it's hot" stage to the "woah, check out that electric bill!" phase of summer.  Whee!

Does anyone else use their laptop's battery life as a method for determining whether they've spent too much time on the computer in a weekend?  I just congratulated myself for going 3 days in a row without having to charge the lappy.  (And then I plugged it in, so it won't auto-hibernate while I finish writing this post.)  What a way to measure accomplishment!  Granted, one of the days was 4th of July and I wasn't even home, but whatever.

In the spirit of the holiday season... some of my fireworks pics.  We were sitting downwind...

My favorites are the ones that blow up big and then - KA-POW! - you feel the explosion as much as you hear it.

Happy day-after Independence Day.

Small and Simple Things

In the summertime, children are drawn to water like moths are to light. The creek by the lodge we stayed in last week was no exception. It was probably the result of snow runoff, punctuated by little waterfalls here and there, running swiftly down the mountainside.  A part of it crossed the path we followed on our hike on Saturday. It seemed treacherous to cross the first time, and most of us ended up with wet shoes, wet feet, or more, depending on our ability to scurry across the little "bridge" made up of two of slick logs. The best "creek adventure," though, involved full-on playing in the water as well as a mini-project to make this creek crossing slightly less treacherous.  With six or eight of the kids, Gpa diverted the water in some places and removed debris in other places. A small dam was built above where the water wasn't wanted, and a larger dam was removed from the water's natural path. Stepping stones replaced the logs for easy crossing. When we were finished, some were covered in mud, others looked like they had barely touched the water, but all had had fun.

On the outside, it might have appeared that we were simply playing in the water: squealing about how its frigid temperatures made our feet numb; squishing our toes in the mud and letting the creek wash them clean again; picking up interesting rocks, keeping some and using others for a dam; scrambling after runaway flip flops; and getting generally muddy and wet. A deeper analysis, however, reveals some interesting ideas: relationships were built along with a creek crossing, allowing love to flow more easily ... scriptures were taught, as we discovered a real-life answer to the question "How long can rolling waters remain impure?" ... memories were made, unrestrained by the usual requirements of the day (keep clean and dry so mom doesn't have to do laundry) ... and family drew closer together because of a small and simple activity.

"Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise." (Alma 37:6)

Loving Home

I am home again.

I loved being away...

the visits with old friends - and learning how time changes some things, but not others...

the hugs from little ones - and the unconditional love they represent...

the sharing of talents, from writing to Rock Band to recorder...

the going to church with family - there's something about hearing an 8-year-old sing that touches my heart...

the laughter - from baby T's giggles to the joyful sound of cousins loving each other...

the post-kid-bedtime game ritual...

the visits to the frigid creek and accompanying adventures in mud...  

the pictures - from iPhone fuzzy to professional...

the birthday and the baptism - what a great experience!... 

and the mentos. 

I still think we should have dropped them in diet coke for one of our activities.  Maybe next time.

I love being home...

My vegetables are growing...

my perennial garden is beginning to bloom...

(hold your finger and thumb about 1/4 cm apart...)

I'm this close to buying a new living room set...

and I get to sleep in my own bed tonight!

Happy Father's Day To All The Wonderful Fathers In My Life

Tonight I made a beautiful pizza.  It had peppers, basil, home-seasoned sauce, onion, ham, pineapple, and lovely stringy mozzerella cheese.  When I took it out of the oven, it looked perfect.  The cheese had melted and browned to perfection, and it was worthy of a picture.

But I didn't take one.

Then I picked it up to move it to the table so my friend and I could eat.  Before I'd even gone one step, it fell out of my hands, and landed on the floor - plop - upside-down.  (I guess I greased the pan too well!)  My lovely friend said, "I'll eat it anyway - quick - pick it up!"  So we did.  We flipped back over the pan and put the crust back on it. Using two handy spatulas, and we scraped most of the plopped toppings back onto the pizza, spread it around a little, and put it on the table. 

I didn't take a picture of that, either, but I should have.

The pizza still tasted good.  When you make your own sauce seasonings, definitely add all of these ingredients: ground black pepper, red pepper flakes, oregano, and cinnamon.  The red pepper flakes give it a little kick, and the cinnamon makes it delish!

Then I called my dad... and my brothers... and wrote this post.  I would have made the pizza for them, too, if I were closer.  But I don't know if they would have wanted to eat it after it fell on the floor.  :-)

And that is my Father's Day story.

Score!

On today's mail:

$ received > $ owed

(New couches, here I come...)

On warm summer weather:

fun time outside with friends - awesome...

mosquitoes bites - 1.

(a small price to pay for a game of Frisbee...)

On dinner:

food in my stomach before bedtime - yes...

something substantial enough to qualify? Don't ask.

(But I do like homemade zucchini bread...)

Happy Friday!

On Theism

I attended a fireside by Elder Russell M. Nelson on Thursday evening.  He gave a masterful discourse on Theism and how critical it is to stand in support of a Theistic culture (as opposed to an Atheistic one).  He spoke boldly in favor of marriage and the traditional family (a man and a woman, married for life, having children).  He also talked about how the traditional family has a positive impact on our economy. For some interesting additional reading, peruse the talks given by Dr. Patrick Fagan at the World Congress of Families... I just did and there's a lot to think about there.  Profoundly, Elder Nelson stated that "If you lose marriage, you lose freedom of religion."  That was enough to make me sit up and pay attention (even more than I already was)!

His words opened the eyes of my understanding to why the Church is so bold in its opposition to the propositions that seek to redefine the marriage relationship, and why its members have been asked to stand for the same, actively participating in sustaining marriage and family.  I have wondered more than once how I would feel about being asked to get politically involved in my own community on issues such as these.  This, of course, then makes me wonder what I should or could be doing now to defend the Theistic culture on which our country was founded.  It is good food for thought, especially on a Sabbath eve.

You Know You're Tired When...

You start yawning at 10:30. AM.

You forget things faster than you can walk down a flight of stairs.

Washing your face seems too hard.

The best plan is the one that doesn't involve movement.

(So why am I still up???)

The Endless To Do Lists

You'd think that if I was exhausted, I wouldn't blog about being tired, I'd just go to bed.

But that would be too easy.

I learned something new today.  OK, it's not really new.  It just reinforces the existing assumptions I already have been using (mostly) to operate in my life.  It's this...

No Matter How Early You Start, You Will Never Be Done. 

With everything important, I am learning, there is always more to do.  Another project, another person to reach out to, another set of things to learn, another event, another book, another load of laundry.  Life is not about getting done.  It's about finding joy in doing, obtaining a proper balance for the current time of life, and prioritizing.  It reminds me of Elder Oaks' talk in conference a while back about Good, Better, Best.  "The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives."

It turns out that "catching up" doesn't really mean much, in the grand scheme of things.  (What or who am I catching up to?  And according to whom?)  Learning to love, teaching truth, and overcoming obstacles do mean something.  So does scripture study ... and temple attendance ... and family time.  Thus, even if today's to do list was longer at the end of the day than it was at the beginning (in spite of starting earlier ... and even if that happened yesterday, too), it's OK.

End of sermon to self. (With luck, someone else can appreciate the need for it, too.)

(End of parenthetical remarks... of which there were an overabundance tonight.)

Gale Force Winds

I heard the rumblings of thunder, and moved a chair into the sunroom so I could watch the progress of the storm.  We've had storms pretty regularly this past week, including thunder cracking just overhead (at 3:15 am) so fiercely that one jumps out of bed to shut the windows while simultaneously praying the lightning doesn't actually strike something familiar.  At first, the storm seemed pretty mild, the pitter-patter of rain and the gentle rumblings of thunder soft in the background of the passing traffic.  But within a few minutes, the fierceness of this summer thunderstorm was unleashed, and rain poured down from overhead. Not to be outdone, the wind kicked up, and then the rain was pouring not down, but sideways, through the open windows and into my home.  It looked like a hurricane when I glanced out my kitchen window as I grabbed paper towels to clean up the mess - within a minute, enough water came in one window sufficient to fill a glass and quench my thirst (I just mopped it up off the floor instead).

I don't remember having thunderstorms like these so consistently in past years.  Or weather patterns where one moment the sun in shining, and within minutes, the sky has gone dark and a torrential downpour ensues.  It is fascinating to live in a place where you can watch the clouds speed by during the time it takes the light to turn green at an intersection.  I appreciate the experience, even when it means cleaning up puddles after failing to close the windows quickly enough.

Today I watched a good brother who was recently baptized administer the ordinance of the sacrament - a sacred responsibility in itself - and noticed that he took an extra few seconds before putting the bread and water to his lips to ponder the significance of what he was about to do.  It struck me that perhaps, sometimes, our religious rituals become so commonplace that we fail to comprehend the signficance of the symbolism so deeply etched within them.  This brother's small action was a reminder to me of the privilege it is to take the sacrament of the Lord's Supper, to renew the covenants we have made with Him, and to receive afresh the remission of our sins.  What a blessing!  I am learning to deeply appreciate the insight that a new convert's perspective on the "everyday doings" of our Church can bring.  We have much to learn from these good people.

There has also been occasion to ponder the Lord's workings in my own life as I have observed my heart becoming softened in some ways, and recognized its hardness in others.  Thankfully, the Lord who is Master over the winds and the waves and the stormy rains is also Master of our souls.  His Atoning, redeeming grace makes up for what I lack, and gives me capacity to change.  With Him, nothing is impossible.

Here's to Awesome

I could tell you about how I left work at 6:57 for a 7:30 concert in Cambridge, got stuck in a traffic jam on the way, marvelled at the courage of the guy in a suit (who was also probably running late for something important) who asked every car in both lanes behind him if they minded backing up so the driver of his minivan (!) could back up too and get off at the exit three car lengths behind me, only to get to the back of the line and realize the traffic had started up again and that all the cars behind his minivan had to wait for him to get back into his car before it could drive off, causing even more delay (but I think we all laughed at him instead of getting mad, because at that point, who could do anything but?), and then in spite of it all, making it all the way in to Cambridge on time.

Or I could tell you about how I realized at 6:45 where exactly this concert was, and how I pretty much hate looking for parking there, but at that point it was too late to commit to another mode of transportation, so I just prayed a few times during the drive over, and when I got there, as I drove around the block, a guy walked up and got into the car in the metered spot right in front of me, pulled out, and I pulled in (at 7:29) - and it was big enough to get into without trouble (and that's saying a lot for me!) and was only a block away from where I was going.

But instead, I'm going to tell about the totally awesome piano concert, and how it was really cool to see a good friend play about 90 minutes worth of memorized music - the Prokofiev was my absolute favorite - and think about what sort of skill or passion I have that even comes close to comparing.  (I'm not sure I decided, but I did laugh to think that if all I could come up with was my knowledge of the regulations put out by our government regarding health care, that was kinda lame.)  The music was beautiful.  The piano was beautiful.  And it was super awesome to see someone performing and sharing their passion and talent and sphere of influence like that.

Here's to awesome friends, awesome parking spots, answered prayers, and people who aren't afraid to do things, even if they might be unusual (in the former case) - or extraordinary (in the latter).

It's A New Record!

Nope, not on DDR.  Worse.  It's this: if you don't count the oatmeal and banana I ate standing up while talking to 3 different people at 2:15 on the way to another meeting, I ate lunch today at 6 pm.  Awesome.

On the one hand, I can't figure out how tomorrow is Thursday already.  On the other hand, is anyone else ready for the weeknd?

Here's the positive note on which we'll end...

Last night after I finished a long day and a few important conversations, I had the profound realization that even though I don't notice it very well in the critical moments, the Lord answers my prayers anyway and gives me inspiration about the things for which I diligently seek His help.  I had one or two issues weighing on my mind on Monday, and as I pondered the results of the day yesterday, I realized that there had miraculously been conversations and changes in circumstance such that the concerns had resolved.  I discovered that, when it came right down to it, I knew with confidence how to proceed. And then I was grateful - not just for the revelation, but for the capacity the Lord has given me to respond to it without first having to consciously note it as such.

On Success

Sometimes I love hate tolerate Mondays.

At least I'm two for three on the exercise front. My SIL made the point yesterday that it's more productive to call it a success when you do it (but not a loss when you don't), which I have decided that I agree with, since I would otherwise have lost way too many days in a row to feel good about trying to win.  More positive feelings and less guilt. 

So let me say instead - I won today.  I made it home before 7:30 (and all the people coming over for Family Home Evening) and I played DDR with two great friends. Two points for me. Three points, if you count using prayer to overcome high levels of frustration. And only one database crash and one impossible bug.

3-2. I guess the day ends in my favor after all. Goodnight.

Wherein I Did Whatever I Wanted To Do

I came up with a new trick to get me to exercise. I bought another version of DDR. And, of the days I've had it and the days I've exercised, I'm 1 for 1! It was definitely worth the $7.50 investment. Too bad tomorrow's Sunday (Well, it's good that tomorrow's Sunday, but for this) - it will guarantee my success ratio falls by 50%.  Oh well. :-)

I spent a lovely day shopping and spending gift card money, mostly - some of which I've had for nearly 2 years - and now have a few more enjoyable things to wear, use, eat, and remember fondly (the yummy Panera bread sandwich)... and it hardly made a dent in my budget, which felt good.

And then I made dinner. Shocking, I know. It was tasty... spicy chicken over steamed spinach, corn on the cob, strawberries, and fresh zucchini bread.  Mmmm. Makes me wonder why I don't do it more often.

Happy Friday (er, Saturday)

I finished the day and started the evening FRIED.

It reminded me of those old commercials... (hand holding egg) This is your brain. (cracking egg in hot frying pan) This is your brain on drugs.  Only this time, this is your brain after a long week of too much to do.  Or something.  I started to wonder why we call ourselves fried when we feel this way... burnt out, short-circuiting, unable to make coherent thoughts, and then I realized duh.  It's an apt description.

So tonight I relaxed with some friends over a movie and pizza and we made kid crafts - paper plate animals. And they look totally awesome. Fish, snakes, frogs, chickens, and lions. What fun! Too bad there were no pictures taken.  Alas - you will have to imagine them yourself.

And now I had best go to bed before I am tempted to read more of Percy Jackson's adventures - which will keep me up all night and then give me weird dreams again (assuming I fall asleep reading like I almost did last night).

Let's Try Yesterday Again

OK.  If I had known yesterday what I know today, I would have posted this yesterday.  But I didn't know yesterday where to find what I know today, so I'm posting it today instead.  Many thanks to my fantastic SIL for the guidance! :-)

Monday, I had a bad day.  It was just hard.  Tuesday was much the same (if not worse, for the first half of the day).  I think I would have been distressed about it, except that I remembered reading this by Boyd K. Packer, from his April 1978 talk called "Solving Emotional Problems in the Lord's Own Way".  Just thinking about it made me feel better.  (So did a good nights' sleep, by the way.)

"It was meant to be that life would be a challenge. To suffer some anxiety, some depression, some disappointment, even some failure is normal.

Teach our members that if they have a good, miserable day once in a while, or several in a row, to stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out. [Yes, I added the bolding.]

There is great purpose in our struggle in life.

There is great meaning in these words entitled “The Lesson.”

Yes, my fretting,

Frowning child,

I could cross

The room to you

More easily.

But I’ve already

Learned to walk,

So I make you

Come to me.

Let go now

There!

You see?

Oh, remember

This simple lesson,

Child,

And when

In later years

You cry out

With tight fists

And tears

“Oh, help me,

God—please.”

Just listen

And you’ll hear

A silent voice:

“I would, child,

I would.

But it’s you,

Not I,

Who needs to try

Godhood.”

(Carol Lynn Pearson, “The Lesson,” Beginnings, New York: Doubleday and Co., 1975, p. 18)"

And that, my friends, is what makes me grateful for the good days that follow the bad, the lessons learned from opposition, church leaders who tell you it's ok if you aren't smiling all the time, and loved ones who help you find the things you remember reading (but can't remember where)!

On Having Bad Days

I remember reading somewhere by a General Authority (a very authoritative reference, I know; keep reading) something along the lines of the following:

It's ok to have a bad day every once in a while.  It's even ok to have two or three in a row.  But ...

and that's the part I can't remember.  Along with the all-important "who-said-it" part.

Does anyone out there know to what I'm referring?

Friday Fun

Guess who bought a vacuum?  Guess who also was slightly disgusted by the amount of dust, dirt, and hair said vacuum unearthed from her rugs...? I was right.  My house is dirty - no matter what all the people say who compliment its cleanliness.  But not for long!  I'm on a spring-cleaning-anti-dirt kick!

In other news...

Tomorrow is supposed to be beautiful, so we'll get back to work on the yard.  Perhaps this time we'll make more noticeable progress.  One can always hope. ...

I saw an incredibly large and ugly ant today, that would have been much less large & ugly if it weren't on my desk.  It was very persistent in wanting to be involved in what we were working on until we chased it away. Four times.  (I'm too (kind-hearted? respectful? grossed out by crunching exoskeletons? something!) to actually kill it.) ...

I finally put away the clean laundry. ...

Yep, it's been pretty boring around here lately.

:-)

Happy Mother's Day

To all the women who bring joy into my life: I bought you all flowers. (If you were here I would share them in person.  Since you're not, I am sharing with pictures.)



From the side...

And a top view!

Enjoy.